This is the post excerpt.
As a woman, there are many days that I find myself asking “Have I been all that I can be today? Have I given every ounce of myself to those around me and the things that I do?” Truth is, I have absolutely no idea if I have even transcended through the surface of all that I am capable of. But one thing I have learned as I get older, as long as your focus is being who you are and putting your heart into every single day, you will always be your own superwoman!
If there is one thing in this world that I am not good at…it’s goodbyes. I have learned throughout my life that we have no control over who stays in our lives and as a defense mechanism, I learned how to flip a switch on my emotions pretty well when I am hurting….until I get alone. Then it becomes the great flood of Emily. I have always been extremely emotional….And I take great pride in the fact that I indeed feel so very deeply. I may have ways of hiding it sometimes, but everything I do is done with a level of love that could easily break my soul in two.
Today I say goodbye to a family that I have grown to cherish…but instead of goodbye, I will say until we meet again, because if I have any say in the matter our story is yet to end… 💗
Sometimes when all your world goes dark, all you need to do is open your eyes to find God’s light all around you…. Emily Y.
As far back as I can remember, I have always been someone that babies and small children are drawn to. Still to this day I can be in the grocery store or walking in the mall etc and I will have little ones smiling, waving and/or trying to get my attention even from across the room. I have always been very warm towards them, and I clearly remember growing up and dreaming about my personal fairytale…the prince, the castle, and more kids than I could count. Now I never quite knew the amount of numerous energies that would go into being a mom back then, but I had it all beautifully painted into the masterpiece that would be my life.
At 16, I discovered through my dr that getting pregnant would be a challenge, if even at all possible, but I quite honestly just chose to ignore those statements and go on about my life. I had already figured out that life was not the fairytale you hear about as a young child, but I was going to just focus on living life to the fullest and enjoying every single second….
I was very unexpectedly and miraculously blessed with my daughter at the age of 25, which still to this day is something that I KNOW was nothing short of a gift straight from God….she was the largest piece of the puzzle that was my life and she was sent to facilitate the birth of a better me….no longer a young woman, but an adult who had true purpose in this life.
Being a parent has proved to be the biggest emotional rollercoaster I have ever ridden, but I still would fill a home with my children if it had been in God’s plan for me.
I came to terms after having a miscarriage in 2011 with the fact that I will probably never have another child of my own….and after many years and doubts and lows and tears, I am finally at a place where I am becoming okay with that. I know God gave me my daughter, and I know that she is a miracle I cannot ever deny. I cannot allow myself to forget the unselfish love that came as God brought her to come to be within our lives.
I also know that if things had not gone as they did, I would not have had the opportunity to have had so many amazing people come into our lives. Though some doors of my dreams were meant to remain forever closed, having my daughter opened a door that God meant to open…..
The door to having the chance to care for children other than my own. And let me tell you, there is a great sense of love that comes from having a child who is not your blood grow to trust you completely. There is NO WAY that a heart can feel empty when you have all the love surrounding you that I do…even when they leave me, my heart only grows to leave room for yet even more somehow. I have been given so many blessings in my life….and though my daughter may be my only child, she has brothers and sisters that she and I can carry within our hearts forever. For every child and every parent that has passed through our doors will forever be loved dearly and be a crucial piece of the puzzle of our lives. So to those of you who have trusted me with your most valuable possessions and blessed me with the kind of love that can fill the emptiest of places within our hearts, I thank you for helping me to see that God’s light is sometimes found within the doors that can only be opened by others.
With love always ❤️,
Mimi
I have seen more political posts on my newsfeed over the last few days than I did all during the time leading up to election…I continually try to close my eyes and pray to God to help each and every person to stop just for a moment, so he/she can remember that WE are what makes America….not the President. We THE PEOPLE are the ones that define America by our actions and our lives, not ONE man. Trump may hurt us or he may end up doing a world of good and learning alot and end up bettering himself as well as us along the way…but any of us turning against each other is what is going to set the tone for the future…I personally want to see America coming back TOGETHER, instead of continuing to divide ourselves amidst others. I want us to learn how to respect each other and how to accept that we can all live in peace if each of us truly wants the best for our future generations. Those generations are WATCHING us, and quite frankly what they are being shown as “acceptable behavior” is not even close to ok. We need to stop and remember that we will never grow stronger if we continue to be divided….
Growing up without you was hard….all of those secret dreams that you’d call one day just to say I love you…or even to just say that you were thinking about me. But those calls never came unless I was the one dialing the phone. The effort shown only when I guess you felt forced to, somehow didn’t feel so insincere at the time…and I lived for those moments when I felt somewhat complete again.Growing up I stood up for you so many times in my life…still so naive and holding on to the magic of childhood that still enabled me to hope that one day you would change and try…..And as I grew older, the realization that I was not a piece of your life that you missed became more and more clear.
So to the man who didn’t try, I want you to know that I forgive you. I forgive you for leaving my heart with a barren emptiness and false hope for all of those years, I forgive you for your forced smiles as I longed to keep you near me as long as I could, I forgive you for never making me a priority…..because in turn, I had the ability to watch and learn what it was to have a father from my grandfather….I got to experience true compassion and love from a man that gladly stepped up and said I love you. I got to feel what it was to share a father’s time and learn from him.
Your not trying led me to fully appreciate a man who does…to accept shortcomings that are so small and focus on the loving gestures of a man towards his child. Your not trying led me to the man who will never abandon our little girl…..the man who from the second she was born has made every moment count, and every experience an everlasting memory. You may not have tried, but what I learned from you only led me to a man who succeeds in the one place you never have…..in LOVE.
So to the father that never tried, I hope you one day feel if only for an instant, what its like to know the greatest love of all….the untouchable and unbreakable love for your children.
Growing up I seeked solace
Within silent fantasies
Daydreaming of a life filled with valor
And the comforts of normalcy
And though I tried to remove the chains
Of years of rivalry
It’s hands still gripped the very heart
I so desperately wanted freed
The days were blurred and unforgiving
As the nights exposed the truths
Just a girl trying to surpass
The realities of being used
So within the greatest chance I had
I left it all behind
And though things did not go as planned
They only turned out to refine
Those yesterdays were finally broken through
By a man who would withstand
The questions and the inner pain
He’d support me through by hand
So though the journey was just that
He led me not astray
And we found love that forever bound
The two hearts which remained
So to that man I now confess
He is my guiding star
Sent down to light the way from the darkness
With his honest heart
Love isn’t measured by the number of verbal “I love you’s”, but instead by the actions that prove loudest…
Emily Y.
When you get married, people always like to explain how no marriage is absolutely perfect and that there will be days of arguments and issues and that you must remember acceptance, compromise and to be humble. But that’s not what I am wanting to share with you…I want to tell you what others dont always say. Marriage will bring stunningly beautiful moments like you never could have imagined…moments that cause the world to literally disappear all around you to bring God’s clarity and an utmost joy that only comes from absolute, pure love. It’s in moments where the world may be caving in around you and yet somehow your partner does or says the simplest thing that immediately calms your soul and brings back your smile. It’s these moments that build your marriage so strong that nothing or no one but god himself could ever break the will of that love. It may be the way your partner gazes at you with a honesty that makes you feel complete, the simple touch of a hand as you pass hurriedly through hectic chaos in the hall, or the way when you have no single ounce of fight left within you he, without a single word, picks you up and carries you through the storm. These are the gifts that God will bestow upon your marriage as you walk through the years. May you never forget to stop and notice each and every one of these moments 💗
If you are a wife and mom, you immediately know exactly what I am refering to…. the constant laundry, the tornado ravenged house, the nonstop need to accomplish things that there is just not enough time in the day for. These are the everyday jobs that we may wish would somehow ease up just a little, while secretly inside we pray they never really do.
You see, amidst the crazy, chaotic , wish we could channel the energizer bunny into our bodies moments, we find a sense of purpose. We are needed even when it is never voiced, and we are the backbone of the successful family unit. We as women are the very soul of our homes, and the love that flows through us even on the craziest days is what fuels us.
And let me tell you, I am loved so deeply that I wouldnt want to change one single crazy chaotic day!
Tonight is one of those nights where I close my eyes and transport all that I am to this place….the sound of the ocean filling me with a sweet repetitive melody that lulls all worry, all uncertainty, all negativity from the frames that play within the walls of my mind…
Some nights I find myself on a memory rollercoaster ride, reliving all the ups and downs of life this past 36 years….and it is quite shocking how much peace that can actually be found within ones self and gods will as I grow older. I see my life as a huge puzzle, each piece fitting together in perfect unison and building me into the woman I have become and continue to be. I have been extremely blessed in my life, even through the great hardships, always continueally blessed beyond what I could quite comprehend at the time.
I have come to understand that part of finding peace within it all is being open to the feelings that all of life has given to me, even in nights like these where I engage one of my happy places to find serenity when needed.
For the life of me, I have no clue where 2016 went…Seems like I closed my eyes for a 10 minute catnap and woke up to the entire year gone. My daughter who I swear I still look at and see that bouncing toddler with the multitude of ringlets and contagious belly laugh is now almost as tall as I am…(not that 5’4″ is tall by any means but any mom will easily get my point). At 36, I spend more time than I would like to admit standing in front of the mirror removing annoying grey hairs that seem to multiply by the day. I wake up some days wondering when the hell my body decided it was going to start falling apart, and why I couldn’t have been told how much a woman’s body changes after 30. I once ate everything I wanted when I wanted, never gave a second thought about how many boxes (yes I said boxes lol) of cookies I went through in any given amount of time, cause I simply never gained a pound. My body creaks and cracks and calls the shots now. I get overly emotional at little things and yet somehow bigger things trigger a response of sheer strength that sometimes shocks everyone around me. Yep, even with all of my quirks,one thing I know without a doubt….. I’m one pretty damn hardheaded and strong woman….because I made the choice years ago to be that way! So, bring it on 2017. I’m here and I’m hoping you slow down just a bit so that I can take each and every moment in. ☺️
