Sometimes when all your world goes dark, all you need to do is open your eyes to find God’s light all around you…. Emily Y.
As far back as I can remember, I have always been someone that babies and small children are drawn to. Still to this day I can be in the grocery store or walking in the mall etc and I will have little ones smiling, waving and/or trying to get my attention even from across the room. I have always been very warm towards them, and I clearly remember growing up and dreaming about my personal fairytale…the prince, the castle, and more kids than I could count. Now I never quite knew the amount of numerous energies that would go into being a mom back then, but I had it all beautifully painted into the masterpiece that would be my life.
At 16, I discovered through my dr that getting pregnant would be a challenge, if even at all possible, but I quite honestly just chose to ignore those statements and go on about my life. I had already figured out that life was not the fairytale you hear about as a young child, but I was going to just focus on living life to the fullest and enjoying every single second….
I was very unexpectedly and miraculously blessed with my daughter at the age of 25, which still to this day is something that I KNOW was nothing short of a gift straight from God….she was the largest piece of the puzzle that was my life and she was sent to facilitate the birth of a better me….no longer a young woman, but an adult who had true purpose in this life.
Being a parent has proved to be the biggest emotional rollercoaster I have even ridden, but I still would fill a home with my children if it had been in God’s plan for me.
I came to terms after having a miscarriage in 2011 with the fact that I will probably never have another child of my own….and after many years and doubts and lows and tears, I am finally at a place where I am becoming okay with that. I know God gave me my daughter, and I know that she is a miracle I cannot ever deny. I cannot allow myself to forget the unselfish love that came as God brought her to come to be within our lives.
I also know that if things had not gone as they did, I would not have had the opportunity to have had so many amazing people come into our lives. Though some doors of my dreams were meant to remain forever closed, having my daughter opened a door that God meant to open…..
The door to having the chance to care for children other than my own. And let me tell you, there is a great sense of love that comes from having a child who is not your blood grow to trust you completely. There is NO WAY that a heart can feel empty when you have all the love surrounding you that I do…even when they leave me, my heart only grows to leave room for yet even more somehow. I have been given so many blessings in my life….and though my daughter may be my only child, she has brothers and sisters that she and I can carry within our hearts forever. For every child and every parent that has passed through our doors will forever be loved dearly and be a crucial piece of the puzzle of our lives. So to those of you who have trusted me with your most valuable possessions and blessed me with the kind of love that can fill the emptiest of places within our hearts, I thank you for helping me to see that God’s light is sometimes found within the doors that can only be opened by others.
With love always ❤️,